Welcome to the Internet, nerd!

You look like you could use some lady advice. Well, you’re in luck, because I write awesome long-term relationship and dating advice, with other cool, geeky things like Batman, video games, and nerdy celebrity quotes thrown into the mix!

Now that you know what to expect, let’s move on.

“What is Table Theory?” - Read the primer.

“Is Table Theory on Facebook?” - Yes, it is! Click through here, or use the widget on the right!

“Who is Vichet?”Read about the author.

“I need your advice!”Email me (table.theory.dating [at] gmail.com)

“Will you go out with me?”- Maybe.

Well, is that it? Then scroll down to see the latest posts on how Vichet got so fly!

You can be fly, too!

QDT – To Text, or Not To Text: A Strategist’s Approach

I’m not dead, bitch! I am busy though. And, writing all this crap for free kind of plays second fiddle to doing other things for not free.

Economics. Learn it.

Anyway, today I’m going to talk text. Or at least one specific situation in texting.

We’ve all been in that situation where we get someone’s number after a night out, and then text to make plans. But, then we don’t hear back right away.

The perfect setup!

The perfect setup!

Anyway, you send a girl an invitation for the bacon and biscuits jamboree, and who WOULDN’T expect a girl to be all over that and text back right away? The shit is tight.

Regardless, sometimes you don’t hear back. Which brings us to our impasse:

If you text a girl with some plans and don’t hear back for a couple of days, should you text again?

If you know me in real life, you know I’m a huge opponent of having actual conversations over text. This is because I think every conversation you have over text can be had better in real life, where there’s touching and casual booby massaging involved. That, and I truly believe that a conversation by itself is not an indicator of romantic interest. Either way, if you’re wasting all of your interesting conversation over text, you can’t use it in real life without sounding like a tool.

That said, if you haven’t heard back from a girl in a couple days after texting her about upcoming plans, you should absolutely text again. Here’s why: texting her again will let you know, beyond a doubt, whether she wants to spend time with you.

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DTE – Part XII – Kino, and Indicators of Interest

What is “kino,” you ask?

It’s how pick-up communities refer to physical touching in a romantic/sexual context. A handshake, a hug, an arm around the waist, a playful punch. You know, cootie central type stuff.

Beyond that, kino is key to establishing and developing physical comfort between two people. Assuming both parties want to be physically comfortable in the first place, or are at least curious about whether they would be. Hint: if you’re on a date with someone, that person is usually curious about whether you both would be physically comfortable with each other, so make a move, jerk.

Most people follow what’s called a “kino escalation ladder,” which sorts specific instances of physical contact by their generally accepted level of intimacy. Read more of this post

QDT – 5 Steps to Getting Over Your Approach Anxiety

So, I was out the other night catching up with a friend visiting town, when I complimented a tall blonde on her perfume. Conversation, laughing, and impromptu dancing ensued, but no numbers were asked for because I’m predisposed at the moment (sorry ladies and readers).

Either way, not too far from where I was carrying on with this nice lady and her two equally nice friends, I remember seeing a couple of guys. They didn’t look green with envy, but they were definitely intrigued by the whole situation  - eyes on us the whole time. I can’t say for sure they wished they were the ones carrying on, but I can say I remember a time when I was the guy who was too shy to approach a woman and instead watched as others who didn’t have that problem had all the fun.

How did I fix it? Well, I never really looked up a guide or broke it down into steps, but I do remember saying “enough is enough, I’ve had it with these mothafuckin’ snakes on this mothafuckin’ plane,” or something equally Sam Jackson-esque. Only coming from an Asian man. And maybe while crying myself to sleep.

But, looking back on it, there were some concrete steps I took that really helped take away the jitters I used to get when in the presence of boobinite.

My only weakness!

My only weakness!

So, here they are. 5 Steps to Getting Over Your Approach Anxiety:

Read more of this post

DTE – Part XI – Preselection, Deselection, and “Fairness” in the Dating Game

Every person on this earth has an opinion about you from the first moment they see or hear about you, and it goes from there.

Women included.

This is why we do things like dress nicely (or not), speak nicely (or not), and avoid picking our noses in public (or not).

Let that sink in. Everyone has an opinion about you.

Someone’s opinion of you, right now. He may or may not operate a dating advice website, and be named Vichet.

This is actually an awesome thing, because people’s opinions are very easy to make positive.

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The Table Theory Guide for the Cornell University Class of 2017

So, I was reading some stuff about my alma mater and got all nostalgic. Then I went on Reddit thinking I was going to write a short little thing about my own experiences 10 years ago first setting foot on campus. What was supposed to be a 5 minute stream of consciousness deal turned into a 30 minute rendition of what a drunken half-brother of Chuck Palahniuk would say, according to my imagination.

It's like this, but with more snow and tears. Of joy. Ahem.

It’s like this, but with more snow and tears. Of joy. Ahem.

A lot of this will sound obvious. Well, fuck you, because I didn’t know this shit as a 17 year old straight-laced tightwad nerd who was getting his first taste of freedom.

(For reference, I’m now a 27 year old tightwad nerd… though much less straight laced and probably a little drunk).

Read more of this post

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