Quick Dating Tips – 5 Useful Things You Learn From Video Games Applied to Dating
April 1, 2013 3 Comments
“But Vichet,” you protest, “nerds don’t get laid!”
Nerds? Why you gotta label everything? Racist.
“What?” you ask.
Yeah, we’re moving on.
So, if you were like me, when you were growing up, you spent all the time that girls were ignoring you by playing video games.
So, that was most of the time.
But, contrary to what every parent ever will tell you, while you were playing all those video games and trying to figure out what you could say to a girl to get her to touch your penis, you were ACTUALLY learning a few handy-dandy skills that could help you in dating and life!
So, here it is: 5 Useful Things You Learn From Video Games Applied to Dating.
1) Lesson learned: The “grind” is really fucking important.
In RPGs (role-playing games), we have something called “grinding.”
And, grinding is important because you ran up to a big monster way before you should have (pre-training montage), and get your ass-whupped like that loser from Karate Kid, because you weren’t ready.
See, just like in video games, sometimes you’ll be in situations in real life that you’re just not ready for.
That girl who is “way out of your league,” for example, or a level 60 Lich King.
In those situations, you have to grind to pump yourself up for the coming battle.
Oh, right, you might not know what that means. “Grinding” is the gamer’s version of “self improvement,” only jacked up to eleven and powered by Mountain Dew and Hot Pockets. Usually, it involves dealing with smaller goals that you CAN handle, gaining skill and experience along the way so that eventually, you ARE cool and strong enough to tackle that big boss.
In pick-up circles, you might be told to take up the “1000 approaches” challenge. Not 1000 lays, 1000 kisses, or even 1000 phone numbers. Just 1000 times, walking up to a stranger, introducing yourself, and seeing where it goes.
In gaming, we call that grinding. It’s important.
So, if you’re a level 4 homebody with no job, no friends, and body odor so bad that people think you’re haunted by a garbage phantom, you need to work on that shit. Grind away. Apply for tons of jobs, get in shape, learn how to interact with and have fun with people who don’t give you awkward boners. You deal with those smaller goals so that eventually you have enough experience and skill to go for the big one – that girl you never would have dreamed of talking to!
She might still whup your ass, but that just means it’s back to the grind. RPGs are like life in that way – a long progression of building skills over time.
2) Lesson Learned: There’s a difference between knowing how to do something, and actually being able to do it well.
Take your lessons from Street Fighter here – execution is just as important as planning.
If you’ve ever watched people play these kinds of games at high levels, it doesn’t look like it requires a lot of skill. A lot of it looks repetitive, actually. Jab jab, hadoken, back off, hadoken, jump in, combo, etc. You can at least understand what’s happening, and why it works or doesn’t work.
But, understanding a concept or strategy is not enough – it’s not enough to know what you should talk about on dates, how you should call a girl, what you should wear, where you should go, or how important it is to establish physical comfort with the girl.
You have to be good at that shit. You have to actually be good at doing it when you’re the one in control.
And guess what? The best way to get good at it is to grind – to do your 1000 approaches, to talk to everyone you see, to learn how to be comfortable physically around girls.
In fighting games, the grind involves getting your ass whupped by people better than you until you become one of the people doing the ass-whuppings.
Dating is the same way. You have to get through your rejections and failures and keep chugging through, having faith that each time, you’re doing a little better – that the DOING is an integral part of the LEARNING and IMPROVING.
3) Lesson Learned: Strategic thinking is key. Sometimes knowing the environment/situation is just as important as knowing the end level boss.
This isn’t quite as universal in video games anymore, but back in the day, games used to be god damned unforgiving with bosses.
What I mean by that is, even if you were strong enough and skilled enough to handle the boss on its own terms, part of the floor could break away and you could just die, just because. Or, a bunch of other guys might join the fight against you.
This can happen in real life. You’re in the bar, you catch a girl sizing you up, you introduce yourself, and suddenly 3 of her friends decide that they’re not too fond of you.
It’s not that things could never happen with this girl. It’s just that you have to have a good read on the situation around her, just as much as you have to have a good read on her.
So, apply your gamer skills – get her away from her summoned monsters, and defeat her on even ground! Or, approach with summoned monsters of your own!
4) Lesson Learned: Your player character isn’t inherently good at everything. You have to deal with that.
Unfortunately, in real life, you don’t get to choose what your character is good at the way you do in most video games. If you’re a sword-wielding bruiser with low intelligence, you’re just not going to master sorcery the way that the guys with the funny hats can.
But, being a good gamer, like being good at dating, isn’t always about being put on the best path from the beginning – a lot of times it’s about being good at dealing with the crap you come across along the way.
Take classic Castlevania for example. Simon Belmont was a badass vampire hunter with a wicked strong whip attack that could kill almost everything in one hit.
But his whip could only attack directly in front of him. He also couldn’t jump for shit. And monsters attacked from all directions – not just in front and back.
As a good gamer, you had to figure out how to mitigate that huge weakness. Sometimes you timed your jumps. Other times, you picked up items that would help you deal with certain enemies.
Either way, just like in gaming, your strengths in the dating field won’t be the same as mine, or as anyone else’s – you have to discover if you’re the quiet, thoughtful guy who has deep conversations, or the boisterous party-maker who gets people together, or the guy who is really good in clubs, or the guy who is really good in groups, or the guy who does this well or does that well. Neither is “wrong” or “ineffective” – they’re just different attributes that are best used in different ways.
The dating game is about knowing how to leverage your strengths while mitigating your weaknesses.
Just like Castlevania.
5) Lesson Learned: Sometimes, it’s best to put down the controller and do something else for a little while.
I’ve been playing this game called “Dark Souls” for a while. If you had to guess the title of the game from watching me play it, it’d be called “Vichet Dies Again: With a Giant Hammer or Maybe a Spiked Pit.”
This game is hard. But, it makes sense. And it’s consistent. In that way, it’s easier and fairer than real life.
But sometimes we still don’t want to accept it. Sometimes we get angry. Sometimes we start saying things like “fuck this game in its ass, and kill it with fire!”
That’s when you need to take a break.
Now, remember – real life is HARDER and more UNFAIR. And since video games are super condensed it takes about 3-12 hours between your whole family being murdered and sweet sweet vengeance. That’s only 3-12 hours of frustration until release.
In real life, you might be dealing with that frustration for weeks. Months. Years.
Just like in tough video games, sometimes you’ve got to back off the problem you’ve been dealing with for a while, and go work on something else to clear your head.
This applies especially to the dating game because it’s a part of life that a lot of guys find to be “easily quantifiable” – even though the definitions for “success” in life and dating are highly subjective.
So, a lot of guys get really frustrated with the dating game when they haven’t been with x number of girls by y number of years in their life, and have only been on z dates.
If you find that you’re in that spot for more than a few weeks, put down the controller.
Walk away for a while. Get in touch with what you want out of life outside of women. Come back to it when you’re not ANGRY about it.
Because anger won’t help – trust me, and my pile of bashed, urine-soaked PS3 controllers.
Plus – you might be surprised at how easy certain problems are to tackle after you’ve gained a whole bunch of skills, strategies, and perspective elsewhere.
… I play way too many fucking video games. But, if you ever wondered where I got my analytical approach, a lot of it involved being curb stomped by cave monsters because I didn’t have the right stuff equipped.