A call to action!

Hey readers/click-happy dickweeds who got here by accident looking for porn,

If you have a situation you’d like me to analyze, I’ve set up a Formspring so you can ask questions anonymously!

I’m kind of new at this, so bear with me in the case of any technical hiccups.


  1. You need to at least tell me your age, sex, and occupation. If you’re a 500 year old genderless robot whose mission is to destroy all the remaining VHS box sets of Cheers, but you tell me none of that, then I don’t think I will be able to fully relate to your situation.
  2. Describe the real root of the conflict as concisely as possible. Don’t give me a whole bunch of little details leading up to the real meat of why you can’t stand your significant other, because that kind of post will inevitably lead me to say “abort the relationship” and work on becoming a better you. To be fair, that’s probably a valid answer in 50 percent of cases.
  3. If you are married, why the hell are you asking an unmarried 20-something for relationship advice? Marriage is a legal contract on top of all the stuff I talk about here – I suggest a certified couples’ counselor, and possibly a lawyer (I ain’t sayin’ she a gold digger, but…).
  4. Despite having written what equates to one post a day for the last week, I’m actually quite busy. Most of these posts are written beforehand, and posted when I feel like they’ve ripened. Bottom line – don’t expect me to answer your question within 5 minutes. Your question could be a big ‘ole can of worms that requires a whole article to flesh out, because you’re an asshole!
  5. You will probably be made fun of by me, and possibly my audience in the comments section. Don’t worry, though! Because you’re anonymous, they can only hate the idea of you!
  6. I WILL SELECT CERTAIN QUESTIONS TO DISCUSS AT LENGTH IN THIS BLOG! Don’t wanna be in the spotlight? Don’t ask.

We good? Then ask away!


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