Dating Doctrine – Step 2 – Mastering Your Life: What Would the Ultimate Man Do (WWUMD)?

Okay, you have life goals, and you’ve become attractive.

Now what?

“Well, Vichet, you said that we would score with the ladies!”

Having sex can make a nice man out the meanest!

Right. That’s true. If you have goals, and are attractive, and are also tearing shit up wherever you go, you will get laid. Even by pretty attractive women, to boot.

It’s inevitable. I mean, people have been having sex since the dawn of man. You and I wouldn’t be here if they hadn’t. Now that you’re attractive and driven (and thus, usually, happy on your own), your potential partners will be that much more attractive, too.

But, that doesn’t make you invulnerable to lady troubles. Even the most attractive, put-together men can be thrown completely off track by the right kind of wrong woman.

“Vichet, you surely jest! If such a woman were I to encounter, I would avoid such trouble with the guiding light of Table Theory! Also, why did I switch into iambic speech? Wicked cool.”

Well… yes. To all of that, yes. But, Table Theory isn’t the answer to everything.

“Hogwash! You have an entire segment on your site called “Dating Doctrine!” What is it, if not the answer to every situation you could face when dealing with women?”

Well… true. There are a lot of answers here. I’m just saying they aren’t the “be all, end all” of running your life – more like very practical guidelines built from my own and multiple other, much wiser men’s experiences.

“But… but then what? I don’t have the cheat code to life anymore, if it’s not Table Theory! Who will I turn to for advice?”

The clouds part in an awesome ray of blinding light and, I dunno, rose petals and shit.

“Well, I think you know who you should turn to,” says the mysterious stranger as he dusts himself off and does some totally boss karate moves.

“Whoa!” you exclaim. “Who is this guy? He looks like me, but there’s something different about the way he walks, talks, and does karate! So familiar, yet so awesome!”

I’ll tell you who that is, sport – the Ultimate Man!

The Ultimate Man flexes casually and says “I don’t have to show off my muscles, but I will anyway because f*ck you.”

“Wow,” you say, impressed. “Why does he look like a cooler version of me?”

Well, that’s because the Ultimate Man is an ideal. He’s like Santa Claus, minus the child slavery and sweat shop managing. He represents the best of you. The guy who knows what he needs to do and does it intelligently, effectively, and with urgency – but not panic.

“I also don’t take myself too seriously,” says the Ultimate Man. “For example: everybody poops. This one time…”

Ooookay, Ultimate Man, let’s not get too far into that.

“Fine,” says the Ultimate Man. “I’m totally telling this story later, though.”

Sure you are.

You look at the Ultimate Man, and then in a mirror. “So he’s like the super-ego,” you remark.

Shut up. Kind of. Whatever. Anyway, what the Ultimate Man really is, is your better nature. Name a problem you procrastinated about last week.

“Let’s see… oh, I didn’t want to wash my dishes, so I left them in the sink for 2 or 3 days.”

Okay. That’s a double whammy of gross and mundane, but what say you, Ultimate Man?

“That shit’s already done. What I’m REALLY working on is learning all the different languages I need to know for my backpacking trip across the Mongolian steppe.”

“Whoa!” you utter. “He’s actually DOING that? I always just considered that a pipe dream.”

Well, of course he is. He’s you. Just the version of you that will actually fight a little bit every day to achieve what he wants to achieve.

Your eyes light up with a twinkle, and you trip over yourself in glee with your next thought. “What can he tell me about getting womens?!”

All of them!

“Hmph,” the Ultimate Man scoffs. “True happiness come from within, Grasshopper. I get all the women by being my awesome self.”

That’s right, young padawan. The Ultimate Man doesn’t focus on getting women. They just hop along for the ride, and he lets them stay if they’re cool.

“What?” you ask in disbelief. “How do you deal with lady problems, then?”

“I don’t,” says the Ultimate Man.

“Do you have a set of rules? Guidelines? A Dating Doctrine, perhaps?” you ask, pleading.

“Well, guidelines, yes,” the Ultimate Man says. “There’s only one: be the Ultimate Man.”

You sit there and ponder the perfect circularity of his proposition. “Can you be more specific?”

The Ultimate Man rolls his eyes, bored with tedium, but acquiesces. “Fine. Here’s a samurai slash of truth on what it means to be the Ultimate Man – this has nothing to do with women in and of itself.”

  • Never make decisions based on fear of failure.
  • If you must make compromises to accommodate a weakness, find a way to fix the weakness as soon as possible.
  • Not everything that is urgent is important.
  • Consider others’ opinions without being ruled by them. Seven times out of ten, they might just be assholes. The other three, you might be the asshole.
  • You will always have to deal with the consequences of your actions – maybe not today, but someday.
  • There are no rules that will cover every situation – use your head.

“Now, based on that,” the Ultimate Man begins, “I’ll show you how I deal with relationship problems from the standpoint of the Ultimate Man.”

  • I face (significant) disagreements with any female friend head on.
  • I am never afraid to be alone – if a relationship must end, it must end.
  • If I am willing to compromise, I do – I am not willing to compromise on everything.
  • I always have my own friends, my own dreams, my own money, and my own life. A woman must have all those things and be part of mine if we are to be compatible.
  • I don’t yearn for days past or exes, because I take and appreciate the lessons I’ve learned from them and move on.
  • After a break up, I don’t let nostalgic emotions (the fear of being alone) make decisions for me that will ultimately make me even less happy.
  • When I mess up, I learn from it and do what I can to repair the mistake. If the mistake irreparably damages the relationship, then so be it.
  • Life is too short for grudges and crazy women – happy men understand this.

“There’s probably some other pointers, too, but I mostly just play it by ear. So, that’s pretty much it,” the Ultimate Man says. “When it comes to women, at some point you just start using your head, and you’re mature enough to take risks and accept mistakes, and learn from them. To know that relationships are full of gray areas, and that there’s no way to plan for every situation like most of the rule books say there are. When was the last time you pulled out the rule book, Vichet?”

Not since I started writing one of my own, Ultimate Man.

“Ahh, rulebooks. I remember when I needed one,” the Ultimate Man says wistfully. “Well, off again I go to kick ass and be happy. Til next time, the power is yours!”

You stare in awe as the clouds part again, with a fresh lemony scent – and also maybe lightning because that’s cool, too – and the Ultimate Man departs into parts and panties unknown. “Did he just quote Captain Planet?” you ask.

Shut up. No. Whatever.

Anyway, do you see what I mean when I say that really, there are no rules, and that Table Theory is just one method among many to reaching a state of being your own master? And that, when you are your own master, you will never have questions about women again – only your own actions and observations?

“I guess so,” you say.

Good. The point of all this isn’t to make you dependent on any one doctrine or mode of thought. It’s to make you realize that you’re capable of sound judgment, and of accepting any woman’s response to your being and doing.

To use myself as a non-Ultimate Man example, after a while, I no longer needed to ask my mentors endless questions about what I need to do in this situation or in that one. Sure, I pick their brains now and then – but I, like they, realize that ultimately, I alone am the Captain of the KAB (Kick-Ass Boat) Vichet. My choices are my own. I make my own decisions, with my own reasoning, and my own goals in mind, and I do it in such a way that I am always play to my better nature, and addressing my weaknesses head-on. When I fail, I fail smartly, and take note for what pitfalls I can avoid next time, and I don’t let failure jade me.

Remember how I said nothing is less attractive than a bitter misogynist? Yeah.

No more short cuts, no more excuses, no more social crutches so that I don’t have to deal with my problems. Just me, my actions, and this big question that is life.

That’s what Ultimate Vichet would do.

And that’s the 3rd and final step of the Dating Doctrine series.

Now, what would your Ultimate version do?

“I think I know,” you say.

So, go out there and get it!

2 Responses to Dating Doctrine – Step 2 – Mastering Your Life: What Would the Ultimate Man Do (WWUMD)?

  1. itsmevichet says:

    As always, thanks Dave!

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