Quick Dating Tips – Womanese, part II: 5 Things That Women Say (That Confuse the Hell Out of Lesser Men)

Remember my article on “Womanese?”

Good!

Thing is, though, that article was more a general roadmap for understanding a woman through her actions rather than trying to analyze her words.

In THIS article, it’s more about explaining the (practical) meaning behind what a woman says – specifically bringing to light whether or not she wants to hop on pop.

Don’t let her fool you. This girl knows what’s up.

Spoiler alert: most of the time the answer is no.

So without further ado, here are 5 Things That Women Say (That Confuse the Hell Out of Normal Men):

1) “Let’s just be friends.”

This one’s easy: she doesn’t want to bang you. You ARE in that gray area between “bearable” and “bangable,” but shit, you know you don’t want to be there. That requires strength and fortitude you don’t have if you’re reading dating advice from strangers on the internet!

You’re probably just not that attractive to her – and, if you’ve known her long enough for her to say this, you probably can’t change her mind.

No worries, though! You can still become an attractive male if you follow the Dating Doctrine series on this blog!

But, yeah, if you’re trying to do that to get with a girl who LJBF’d you, good luck. There’s a 99.99 percent chance she’s sticking to her guns no matter how awesome you get – mostly because of that fact that the romantic spark ignores a lot of flaws. If she found you flawed enough to avoid getting romantically involved with you… well… there was no spark to begin with, or the spark died out because you messed up somewhere along the way.

2) “I’m not looking to date anyone right now.”

She’s not looking to date YOU right now. Or ever. Move right along.

Again, when these guns come out, you can rarely change a girl’s mind. I mean, why would you want to, anyway? The whole relationship would be an uphill battle of you convincing her you’re worth spending time with.

Are you worth spending time with?

No?

Become attractive, dammit!

3) “I’m looking for a nice guy / a bad boy / a nerd / a champion MMA fighter / whatever.”

We’ve all heard women say these kinds of throwaway lines before. Guys do it, too. It’s called “talking,” and it doesn’t always mean what it says on the tin. A lot of times, it’s just shootin’ the shit, and means nothing.

So stop using what she says as some kind of roadmap to build your life.

If you’re not a bad boy, stop trying to be one. If you’re not a champion MMA fighter… well, shit, I’m not gonna tell you not to try to be one of those, that’d be f*ckin’ awesome.

The point is, if it were as simple as listening to exactly what a girl says and doing that to get her to like you, there would be no such thing as dating advice.

If you start trying to analyze every little word a woman is saying, you will end up with a million questions – whereas, you can never go wrong becoming the best version of yourself.

4) “I’m really busy this week, maybe another time” (and she doesn’t specify what that time might be).

She’s not interested, brah. If she were, trust me, she’d take an hour out of her week to get to know someone intriguing.

Okay, okay, the ladies will call foul here. Sometimes a woman is genuinely REALLY busy all week. We’re guys, we’ve been there, too.

But, granted that a woman may be busy THIS week, she would theoretically specify another time that she IS free, right? Right – only if she’s interested. No specified date and time, no interest.

Take note.

5) “I love you, but I need some space.”

Well, she -might- really love you. But, clearly, it’s more important that she needs space. So, the whole “love you” part becomes kind of irrelevant.

Key point: don’t dwell on it.

If I were to approach this pragmatically, I’d say just to assume she doesn’t love you.

“But Vichet, what if she does?!”

Well, what if you could find a girl who loves you, but also doesn’t want to keep you at least 50 feet away at all times? Ever consider that? Yeesh.

Bonus: “I never do this!”

This is usually in response to a girl quickly giving up the goods, and feeling bad about it. Doesn’t matter whether she never does it or does it all the time (as long as you use a condom) – just don’t be a dick about it. You likely just got laid, so don’t ruin the post-coital bliss with your judgments, asshole.

Discretion is a wonderful trait for both men and women to have.

In conclusion…

I’m looking to make this womanese translation deal into a series.

Has a woman ever said anything that confuses you? Don’t be afraid to ask me a question on my Formspring! It’s anonymous!

2 Responses to Quick Dating Tips – Womanese, part II: 5 Things That Women Say (That Confuse the Hell Out of Lesser Men)

  1. idiotprufs says:

    What’s it mean when she laughs hysterically, then turns and walks away.

    • itsmevichet says:

      Well, I dunno what she means, but I know that she’s just one woman and you don’t need to spend too much time analyzing her.

      I’ll say this – a woman who’s interested will hang around with you.

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