Quick Dating Tips – 4 Bad Habits You Learn From Video Games, And How They Affect Your Love Life

Remember my article last week about 5 Useful Things You Learn From Video Games Applied to Dating?

Well, it actually started out as a bigger, unreadably long article.

It actually seemed like a good idea at the time.

It actually seemed like a good idea at the time.

Well, in that bigger article, I also detailed 4 bad habits you learn from video games that will fuck you up for a long time if you allow them to transfer to real life, but I split it off from the main article because it was too much awesome in one place. Lucky you, I’m going to get into that right now!

Read more of this post

Off the Cuff #7 – “Vichet! How’d you get so fly?!”

How did you gain so much common sense when it comes to dating? Trial and error?

Mostly, yeah.

I did read a book called “The Dating Dictionary” by Doc Love. I recommend it – it’s a good starting point for opening your eyes to fear-based social conditioning, and how to overcome a lot of it.

Beyond that, I never read “The Game.” I have, however, discussed pick-up, dating, relationships, life, philosophy, and other abstract uselessness with other people, both in person and on the internet, for years.

A lot of what Erik Markovik and Owen Cook have said about pick-up have resonated with me… but more about life than about dating.

I guess that’s because I believe knowledge is knowledge, regardless of how you express it. Richard Feynman made a great distinction between knowing what something is called and knowing what it actually is:

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=05WS0WN7zMQ%5D

Anyone who knows me knows I’m a thinker, so I suppose that makes sense.

As for practical advice, I mostly just got out there, talked to people, examined myself, went through depression, came out of it with hobbies and life goals, and dated lots of women from lots of different backgrounds and circumstances along the way.

Look, I don’t consider myself a guru. I’m learning, just like everyone else. What I’d say I do have is the balls to put my name on my failures in a place for anyone with internet access to see. But, that’s not a huge difference – it’s not like I have more ability or value or talent than the next guy. I just have the willingness to be accountable to it, and use it in my life.

Here are some bullet points that have helped me in my completely aimless and roundabout (and ongoing) journey.

  • Pay attention to your instincts, but don’t be ruled by them.
  • Opinions are cheap – unless they’re coming from the people who really have your back.
  • On that note, evaluate who really has your back – if it’s no one, consider that you might be an asshole.
  • Always be willing to look at what you did wrong. If you have to, admit it to the people who have your back. Saying it out loud puts your ass on the line, and we’re more effective when there are stakes.
  • Never assume you have a secret exceptional skill that will swoop into your life and save the day when you least expect it. Instead, work on building the skills you know you want to have, so that YOU will swoop in and save the day some day.
  • You can only find happiness in your own drive to live life.
  • Physical activity is a time-tested, great way to learn what it’s like to live in the moment – being in the moment is something you will never understand unless you’ve been there.

Oh, wait, you wanted dating advice?

  • You’re not for everyone.
  • Not everyone’s for you.
  • One girl, regardless of how hot, is just one girl.
  • There is no “the one” – if you were immortal, you’d meet an infinite number of “the one.”
  • Be the expression of your potential, or be on the road to being the expression of your potential.
  • Don’t settle for anyone that takes away happiness from your life. Your happiness is not a negotiation with a third party, it’s a choice to be made by you.
  • Never underestimate the power of chemistry to draw out your stupidity.
  • Love is all you need… as long as you also have food, shelter, and a standard of living that doesn’t have you waking up and crying twice a week.

I have tons of these. They’re disorganized because, like my life, they have come at me randomly and at inopportune moments. Rarely do I ever actually think about them – I just live them. Remember what I said about how a tiger doesn’t have to think about being a tiger? Yeah, well, I’ve internalized a lot of this stuff. So here we have my blog that allows me to externalize them, all for you, for free.

You’re welcome, internet.

Reddit delivers!

Today, out of boredom, I asked the /r/picrequests subreddit to make me a picture of a unicorn riding a donut, punching Tom Cruise while Bruce Lee shreds guitar in the background.

Not even an hour later, Reddit delivers:

Image

Thank you, internet.

Thought of the Day

Something to think about if you find yourself alone and thinking “But the first date went so well!”

It looks like your data might not match your hypothesis…

Table Theory 2012 Summer Challege for Great Justice (TT2012SCfGJ) – Week 4 and 5

DOUBLE POST!

So, last week was really busy for me. Sorry about that, guys. It’s been really busy, because people have been contacting me with questions! Woo! The “Off the Cuff” series will begin expanding soon, so keep an eye out.

We’ve reached the halfway point of the TT2012SCfGJ, and it looks like everyone is on track to finish. Read about it below!

Vichet “Khmer McFly” Ou (Finish book and double readership):

Week 3

Triumphs – smashed my goals for blog readership. This week I got 20,000+ views referred from Reddit, all from just two links that I submitted. Even though readership has slowed down from that high, I’m still getting way more than twice the traffic that I used to. I just have to keep it up.

Failures – The excitement from my blog’s success had me neglecting my novel. I am now WAY behind. Only got 4 or 5 pages done this week. Another 5 in the pot for me.

Week 4

Triumphs – blog is still growing in views. People are reposting, and starting to evangelize my advice.

I have legit seen the phrases “have you read Vichet’s blog?” floating around the relationship oriented subreddits.

Failures – I finished 20 pages this week, but I still didn’t get to where I projected I’d be by now, because I consider the pages that I didn’t finish on previous weeks as pages that must be finished the next weeks. 5 bucks for me.

UPDATE – the rest of the members have voted that I shouldn’t accumulate punishment from previous weeks. I’m still on target to finish my book, so they’re letting me reset my quota to 20 pages at the beginning of each week.

Big Face Underpantis (hit target weight/bodyfat and improve leg extension in dance):

Week 3

fat loss – big set back. french people are horrible. threatening me with guns, filling me up with bread and cheese. tipped the scales at 150.2 this week. i’ve got some fuckin’ work to do to hit 146. $5.

extension – great. above 90 degrees both legs both front and side. injury is better.

Week 4

fat loss – 147.6, not bad considering much of this week was damage control. $5. good news is the trend is moving steadily downwards.

extension – great fuckin news – 100 degrees both legs, all directions.

DD (develop ecommerce site and write fitness book):

Week 3

I have a Tony Robbins coach that I hired to help focus my efforts. She suggested I write the last chapter first so I can ensure that all of the previous chapters funnel into the conclusion smoothly. I worked on my last chapter but didn’t finish it. Despite not finishing working on the last chapter has really refined my thought process +$5

I created a rough draft of my website in Weebly. It will include a blog section, sales section, before and after pictures, about me, faq, and a home page with intro video. Looks good so far. The blog section will be both written and video blogs and will be examples of how to apply the lessons within my book. +$0.

Week 4

This was a good week. No money in the pot. I really structured how to write so I was able to write a lot. I launched a mini site. Check it out. Fitnessweapons.com. Sign up and get my fit tips in your email.

Robert Paulson (learn Python and relearn guitar):

Week 3

Got Python done. Wrote some interesting scripts that prompt the user. Next week moving into more parameters, and I/O from files.

I failed terribly at my guitar exercises this week. I had put it off all week with plans to do it Saturday. Saturday came along and I was hungover as shit, and the sound of an electric guitar screeching into my ears was not appealing, so I’m out 5 bucks.

Week 4

Python should be what every kid learns first for any programming class. This week I took some input, wrote it to a text file, and ran the file. Very straightforward. Next week is a script for copying files, should be handy, might even find a use for it at work.

YYZ is still kicking my ass, but the good news is I’m getting quicker. I got the timing of the riff down, but I still sound like shit. Should sound better with more practice in the coming weeks. What’s nice is I’m moving into other songs as well, as my passion has been renewed, so its not all about YYZ. Metallica’s “Orion” and Zeppelin’s “Ten Years Gone” are a couple I’m noodling right now. (they are slightly easier)

have a listen to the masters: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jYpydtdlWxA

Steel (learn Python and form a proto-sixpack)

Week 3

Workouts are going great, feel like I have better energy. And I feel like I’m on my way. Goal met but I can still stand to eat healthier and drink a bit less.

Python isn’t going so hot, I’m reading the material but I’m not doing enough of the practice exercises. I need to be better disciplined in adhering to my schedule in that regard.

+5 as well.

Week 4

Steel is running late with his update – check back soon for his progress!

No clear winners for week 3, but week 4 saw all of us get on target for the big win come early August!

The pot is currently at:

$60 – case of beer and a couple fifths of mid-shelf liquor.

So who would like to party with us at the end, and celebrate our hard-won ballerness?